Thursday 9 July 2015

Failure


Failure is the first step towards the success and I am so glad having climbed the first step towards the success. I never wanted to let any failure enter in my life. But as it did now, I didn't have any other option but accept it positively. Since childhood everything from school to diploma was just cool and simplified. It started complicating when I shifted to Hostel for further studies. The new hostel, the new city and the very new college just changed me into new me. All my fear was gone and I was a free bird who fell in love with an independent life. I was enjoying my perfect, simple and quite special life. Wow!! Studies weren’t that difficult and so I had first class in all my results albeit it was enhanced with math’s k.t every semester. I never was good in mathematics since my childhood. Later on, I with Priyanka and Ankita- my classmates and hostel roommates too, shifted to a flat on rent and escaped ourselves from headaches of hostel issues.
Soon, we entered into our final year but I entered partially as math’s k.t was still on. I then had to wave goodbye to my final year as I couldn’t clear the math. This was indeed a big and painful failure of my life. Drown into tears, my eyes were swelled and I wasn’t in need of anyone’s sympathy as I am of suffer-in-alone category. It was unexpected and unbelievable incident to be happened in my life. But here too my mummy made me strong to handle this failure. My mummy hopes that a day I will excel and her hope keeps me going. My parents never dominated me to be stubborn as they always completed my wants before I could ask them. Such a loving and caring parents they’re that I owe them my life. They have always shown a great trust in me and I will never let them down. And thus this failure made me walk towards the success. Soon I will reach my destination.

Tuesday 31 March 2015

My Sweet Baasa


To my sweetest and greatest Dadaji,

Baasa, it's been a year now, 
And I am still not able to believe that you are gone.
I miss your teaching, I miss your preaching.
I miss the talks with you; I miss the walks with you.
I miss your smile, I miss your laugh.
I miss the way you shout, I miss the way you moan.
I still remember your eyes getting wet every time I went for vacations.
I miss the calls you did to solve the sweet fights between you and granny.
I miss you and everything about you.
Life without you is never going to be the same.
Without you, all the moments will always be lame.
I never liked the religious channel that you used to watch.
And now, I hover through those channels hoping you may come to watch.
I know in Life everyone is destined to go,
But Baasa, I wanted you to live some more.
My bad luck that Dhaasa was hospitalised during marriage,
I was unhappy for you both were not there with me.

Good News is Dhaasa's health is improving.
And I am so sure it's all just because of you.
Your presence still I feel cuz I know your life lays in (your love) Dhaasa.
Everyone here miss you and pray that wherever you are,
you be happy and peaceful.

Thursday 7 June 2012

Nisha, An Enigma.


                I love myself, I love my parents. Naah!!! Actually, I love my parents and that's how I love myself. Talking about myself, I would say I was a very shy person. Rather than being a participant, I used to enjoy being an audience. I couldn’t interact much with people. I didn’t like to be friendly with anyone. I had a strong feeling that I am unable to adjust with people around me. I was comfortable only being with my parents and siblings. I always hate to attend any family or social functions and just loved being at home, my sweet home. While speaking with people, I used to tremble and lose the balance on my words.
                I was born in Bali, Rajasthan i.e. my maternal Grandparent’s home. And I was brought up in Manor, Maharashtra i.e. my paternal Grandparent’s home. My mummy gave me birth in home itself rather than any hospital, I think that's the reason I always prefer to stay at home albeit everyone wants me to go out and enjoy. You know what I feel is It’s good to be at home. Thus, people around me usually call me “Homesick”. Childhood memories include “Chappuchan” – my angel mummy used to call me by this nickname, “Shemdi” – called by everyone as I always had cold and thus runny nose, “Badbadi” - as I used to talk, talk and only talk. My talks always seemed to be so funny that everyone eagerly used to wait for my talks.
                Injuries I went through during my childhood are several. Once I fell down from the first floor at my home’s balcony. By God blessings and my Granny’s massage therapy, I survived. Next injury was when one afternoon I was playing with my cousins in home, I lost my balance and I end up burning my hand with boiled milk vessel. The burning spots are still on my right hand. Further injury was during rainy days, we all cousins were getting drenched in the rain upstairs on the terrace. After we all had fun and were going downstairs, I slipped on the stairs and was gifted with stitches on my head. One more injury on a cool night when we all kids and uncle were doing monkey business, my head was snapped by the side wall tile and got some more stitches. It’s a co-incidence that every time I was injured I was at home. Well this co-incidence makes me think that am quite lucky.
                School life started with a conundrum. My Grandparents wanted me to be in Marathi medium school with my cousin while my mummy preferred an English medium school for me. My papa finally came with a solution and I was sent to English medium school along with my cousin. But even this conundrum proved to be lucky because after a to and fro between Marathi and English, mine and my cousin’s Marathi and Hindi language was better than our classmates. I and my cousin share very nice bond of friendship and we were always competitors in studies. Sometimes he used to rank 1st and sometimes I.
                My Grandpa feels very proud of me as I am the reason behind his resistance to smoking. He used to smoke and when everyone told him to stop it, he started smoking by hiding from us. One day I caught him and while climbing the cliff at our balcony I told him either to wave goodbye to the cigarette or her granddaughter. Within seconds, he rushed into the balcony, took me into his arms and promised me that he will never smoke again. Well, I consider it as my lifetime achievement. I love you Grandpa so much.
                Manor is a small town albeit people there have huge hearts. We had a small English school which wasn’t recognized by Govt. so we were then shifted to the Govt. recognized private school in Palghar, a city near Manor. Migration from St. Judes School to Twinkle Star School was nothing more than a miasma, I needed to adjust with. The classroom was filled with more than 70 students while my previous classroom was of hardly 8-10 students. I used to feel like I am left all alone in this huge crowd. To cope with this huge crowd wasn’t an easy task; I had to pay a toll for my shyness and reserved kind of nature. I used to feel like am a character in a “Hip-Hip Hooray” serial who is been always harassed by her classmates. But finally one day I dealt with this miasma and was then comfy with my classmates and studies. Albeit the daily travelling for school decreased my marks from 90’s to 50’s, I was happy for I experienced so many things and made myself strong enough to fight all problems.
                Being immature, I always used to annoy my Neha di a lot. I always used to black mail her of revealing her secrets to mummy and thus getting all my work done from her. I was a bad little sis, still so much loved by her di, in spite of the all harassment caused by me. But I wasn’t that bad for a long time. Soon I realized my di’s love for me and her importance in my life. Now, I am best friend of my di and I feel so privileged. I am so sorry di. Love you so much.
                I never had much interest in being with friends and enjoying with them as I am homesick, but still had some good friends in my class namely Manisha, Pooja, Priyanka, Himali, Rupali, Rumana, Saba, Sana, and Jyoti. My best friend at my old school was Pranoti; we spent best moments together but now are not in contact with each other. I didn’t have any friend in boys except my cousin Yogesh; he was my classmate throughout my whole school. We share a very cute relationship of being cousins and friends too. I was quite disciplined and silence-loving girl so was never noticed in class. Then the tenth standard came. While all others made me aware of the crucial and difficult board examinations, my mummy, Sheefa teacher and Kedar sir helped me a lot in dealing with my studies. Neha di and Rahul always inspired me, they used to spend their time in making me understand the importance of studies and life and motivated me and finally I passed SSC exams with 58%.
                After schooling, I had to make choice for my further education as per my interests. But I didn’t know what really interested me and thus was so confused. Again mummy helped me here by taking me for walk at night and discussing about my interests. Finally, she pushed me towards my career, only then I concluded what my interest was in. Later on, my cousin Kitu di assisted me to pursue a diploma in Computer Technology rather than opting for 11-12th. Papa took my admission in PRP Polytechnic, Bhayander. Now, the bus travelling exceeded to train travelling, thus exceeding my problems too. But by now, I had mastered in dealing with the problems, so there wasn’t much big issues. I learnt to interact with people and know them as I came across several different kinds of people in bus, in train and in my college too. Only then I concluded that the world around isn’t too bad as it seems to be, but also it’s not that good. Everything depends on us; it’s like how we take it.
                Earlier, I was atheist, just one incident made me to believe and have faith in God, I was pantheist then. Now I know God is great. If God gives the sadness then only he is the one giving us happiness too. If he gives reason to cry then he even gives us reasons to laugh. Mummy is like God to me; I cannot keep any secret from her and can’t even lie to her. I am just an open book to her. Sometimes there is stuff which cannot be discussed with mummy; I rush to my lovely Di and she always helps me to deal with. Along with pantheism, I do believe in spirituality too. And thus I always strive to keep my life always peaceful and positive.
                In diploma as there were only few girls in my class, I got chance to explore the boy category of friends. And this category isn’t that bad as I used to think. Boys are quite caring and polite with girls, albeit they behave weird sometimes. I got one very nice friend Nilam as my classmate who taught me many things. Along with solving my maths problems, she solved my many life problems too. I will be always grateful to her. There was fun to meet and talk to new people and get to know about their life and struggles and so I got many friends while travelling namely Pranita, Amruta, Trupti, Asmita, Vaishali, Akshata, etc. In studies I was doing well, I used to get first class grades in results which were enough for me. Incredible result was when I scored 81.93% in my final semester. My parents were happier than me, I felt super happy seeing their enthusiasm. That is the day I realized that there’s no fixed range of your ability, it’s only you who can decide the range. I, then, started dreaming my future of great career for which my parents will feel proud.
                During diploma I got used to mobile messaging as that was the emerging time for mobile phones and thus experienced the pros and cons of mobile. Mobile helps us pass our time well when we are boar making us able to chat with friends but it also waste our time when we are studying. Soon I got to know the importance and also side effects of Technology so I started using Technology wisely to keep proper balance in studies and entertainment. I hate being dependable on friends, neither I like any friend to depend on me. I believe in having few friends but real friends. I don’t want to have friends just to make myself happy or content. I know how to keep myself happy, but I need friends to spread happiness and share happiness. Life is dynamic and so are the people. We cannot be certain about anyone’s existence in our life and that is why I keep myself detached from friends. I don’t want to hurt any of my friends so keep little distance but I always make sure that my every friend can count on me whenever they are in need. With family I feel safe and secure for "in spite of your thousands mistakes or harassment towards your family, they will still care for and love you."
                Heading towards degree after completing diploma wasn’t that difficult as it was while heading towards diploma after SSC. I secured Mumbai University in the first allotment of CAP rounds in SCOE, Kharghar. My hostel life then started as it wasn’t possible to travel all the way from Manor to Kharghar. My college was good and the hostel Lords and Melbourne was luxurious. Again I was introduced to some more new friends in hostel and college. College friends were Jyotsna and Nutan(my seniors in diploma college), Ankita, Priyanka, Shaista, Rucha, Kadambari, Prianca, Deepa, Namrata, Seema, Sandesha, etc. My hostel roommates, as I was the high scorer in changing the rooms, were Pramada, Varsha, Poonam, Abhilasha, Vidhi and Prerna. Poonam became my best roommate and also a very nice friend. Other hostel friends were Chitra, Pooja, Himangi, Mansi, Neha, etc. Soon, I had the best friends group for the lifetime "Ankita, Priyanka, Poonam, Nutan, Jyotsna & Shaista."
                This place Kharghar just changed me into new me. All my fear and afraidness was gone and I was a free bird who fell in love with an independent life. I was enjoying my perfect, simple and quite special life. Wow!! Studies weren’t that difficult and so I had first class in all my results albeit it was enhanced with maths k.t every semester. I never was good in mathematics since my childhood. Later on, me with Priyanka and Ankita- my classmates, besties and hostel roommates too, shifted in an apartment on rent and escaped ourselves from hostel issues. After few months, Poonam & Nutan too joined us in apartment.
Soon, we entered into our final year but I entered partially as maths k.t was still on. I then had to wave goodbye to my class as I couldn’t clear the maths. This was indeed a big and painful failure of my life. Drown into tears, my eyes were swelled and I wasn’t in need of anyone’s sympathy as I am of "suffer-in-alone" category. It was unexpected and unbelievable incident to be ever happen in my life. But here too mummy made me strong to handle this failure. Mummy hopes that a day I will excel and her hope keeps me going. My parents never dominated me to be stubborn as they always completed my wants before I could ask them. Such a loving and caring parents they’re that I owe them my life. They have always shown a great trust in me and I will never let them down.
                Family trip to Kerala healed my all sadness, this trip proved to be the best family trip throughout my life. I was quite confused either I was lucky to enjoy my first air travel or was unlucky to let my one year waste. Still I will assume myself to be lucky as I got to enjoy so much with my family and other family friends, the Jet airways, the Balaji tours, the 3stars hotels of Kerala made this trip worth memorable. Kerala is said to be the God’s own country. Well it is actually God’s own country, full of greenery and beaches. We got to see 5 airports as we travelled between Mumbai-Bangalore-Cochin and Trivendrum-Chennai-Mumbai. Thus, we passed 2 states Karnataka and Tamil Nadu along with Kerala.
                Analyzing the changes in me since nursery, I came to know how much I changed with time and turns of life. Being a child I was very simple girl who never had any major problems neither in her life nor in her family. I just had to deal with silly problems like loss/damage of my belongings, being a tortoise as I was always slow while doing my homework or having my food. I was lovingly called Deccan Queen by Sheefa teacher, obviously for my slow speed. Mummy always accelerated my speed and she's even doing it today. I used to be comfy only with my parents and siblings but now I can adjust myself anywhere and be comfy with people around me. I was so afraid of staying alone in a room even during a day, but now I can stay all alone in an apartment even at night. Nowadays every friend I meet, after a long time, says that I changed unbelievably in all the way. Well, they don’t specify whether the change is good or bad but to me the change is good.
                Here came my maths exam and I did well as I had join classes of Jafar sir (Life is so small; Jafar sir used to teach B.Sc maths to my di in Palghar, now he taught me in Kharghar.) I started doing to and fro between home and Kharghar as per the convenience and simultaneously studied and planned for my career. After few months, result came and I passed. I started utilizing the time by finding the purpose and the goal of my life. I browsed my soul, my strength by reading some inspiring and motivating books. I brushed up my technical knowledge and languages, worked on my vocabulary and accent and prepared myself for aptitude test, interviews and group discussions.
                This is my life story or stories till today. Hope to have such more stories and incidents in my life to write about and share with you all.

Saturday 26 May 2012

Motivator


Life would not have been so simple and sweet if I didn't have met my motivator. Life is so superb and fantastic just for I have her by my side. She is my cousin Kittu, a very sweet and smart girl whom I adore a lot. She is a B. Com graduate and now pursuing L.L.B  . . . I couldn't have got this independent life without her help. She was the one to call me and inquire about my plans for further studies. When I told her that I am getting into junior college in science stream, she laughingly told me “Again you will be wearing those boring uniforms?” That's when I told her that I want to become an I.T Engineer, soon she suggested me to join polytechnic rather than joining a junior college. And that’s when papa browsed all the diploma colleges in Mumbai and took my admission into PRP Polytechnic, Bhayander. As I was too late for admission, I couldn’t get into better college. But PRP wasn’t that bad, after a year of my admission I realized that PRP was the best college for me.
As my college was far away from home, I had to stay at my maternal uncle’s home. Staying at this new place wasn’t difficult as there lived my motivator, my cousin, Kittu di . . . but only she noticed how sad I was being away from my parents. So, she advised me to talk to the principal and request her to allow me an hour late attendance in college. After various applications and requests, I was permitted for late attendance but with a condition that I should get first class result. I was so happy going back to my home, my papa, my siblings and most importantly mummy . . . Daily travelling for almost 5 hours to and fro from Manor to Bhayander via bus and train wasn’t difficult at all as I was able to be with mummy at the end of my day. And it became possible just because of an advice from Kittu di . . . She was the one to give me hope that I can be with mummy. Travelling used to be quite hectic for me but just a smile from mummy after reaching home used to make me feel relax. Soon, 3 years passed away and I completed a diploma in Computer Technology with distinction.
Through CAP rounds, I got admission for B.E in SCOE, Kharghar. Here, I had no other alternative and so I had to be in hostel . . . away from home, my sweet home. Here, I had many up and downs but I didn’t quit just because I had the words from my mummy and my motivator, Kittu di . . . It’s their belief on me which keeps me going on towards my goals. Kittu di motivates me in such a practical way that I find all my emotional problems so little, almost equivalent to nothing. There came a time when I had to take a decision which was very difficult but here too she helped me and made it so easy for me.
Before few days, I went for a trip to Saputara, this was my 1st trip with all my maternal cousins without parents, no elders . . . only we all peers were there so we had full freedom to act stupid and foolish and just chill out by forgetting about all work and studies load. As usual, I wasn’t having any plan to enjoy but Kittu di warned me that she is going to make me participate in each and every adventure and not a single “No” would be entertained by her . . . And so there goes me with late night gupshups, masti, playing games, cracking jokes, etc. We had slept so late that day still we managed to wake up early in the morning and went for trekking on the mountains. I was excited and afraid at the same time as I never had climbed any mountain and this was going to be my first adventure. I climbed up the mountains until we didn’t reach its end. It was quite horrible for me as we didn’t have any rope to climb up, yet we continued to climb. Finally, we reached the end and enjoyed the sunrise; it was indeed a beautiful scene. I was heavily breathing and was feeling tired till I reached the end. As soon as I reached up, the cool breeze up there took away all my tiredness making me feel relaxed. Later on next day, we went to resort and I said a great “No, No” to the swimming. Again, Kittu di forced me and I glide on each and every slide with no fear. I actually enjoyed and felt so confident and strong. I felt no more as a coward, but a daring person. Wow!!! This feeling I just love it. Thank you so much Kittu di . . .